


What the world sees as a monster, i see as lost hope

by ReaderLove



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 18:41:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14599290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaderLove/pseuds/ReaderLove
Summary: A look at how things slowly begin to change for a man who is feared by all but will hopefully be loved by one.





	1. What the world sees as a monster, i see lost hope

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the characters in the work. All character rights belong to Marvel.
> 
> This is my first time writing, my work will not be the best but give it some time and i will get better. Hope you like it!

The seemingly calm air grazed his skin as he walks through the fields of the ancestral plane; grass low cut and green with the stars shining in the royal purple and pink sky. Erik looked around until he spotted a familiar face looking at him from only a few feet away. N'Jobu slowly made his way over to his son confusion in his eyes. "My son...it is good to see you but I'm worried. You seem so troubled and the way you have done things.." Erik looked away from his father so many thoughts ran through his mind. "I don't want you going through the world with rage and anger in your heart. Yes i am not physically around to guide you but i am always with you in mind and soul." The hurt in his father's voice was weighing on him. "Anger? Rage? You don't know how much fucking rage and anger i have..this world this place..this place that claims it's loving to all it's brothers and sisters took everything...EVERYTHING I EVER LOVED FROM ME!!...." The tears were now flowing from his eyes. Erik was never one to cry, he had no time emotions but for some reason that was pissing him off how he couldn't contain his emotions any longer. "N'Jadaka wipe away your tears, pull yourself together....i love you my son.." Before he could respond a searing pain rips through his chest as blood drips down his clothes, a burning sensation crept it's way into his chest and he couldn't see his father any more. The blade..the blade that ripped through his chest was there; he could feel the air draining from his lungs and all consciousness was fading, the darkness was around him, swallowing him whole. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth as he looked down at the sharp blade in his chest, he noticed his cousin beside holding onto the weapon. He felt his heart coming to a slow stop until his eyes shot open. Erik sat up looking around finally coming back to the realization that he was in a cell. 

"The fuck?!?..damn..." Erik wiped the sweat from his head and the tears from his eyes. "I was crying again" he realized as he lays back down in the cell bed; he looked over at the tray of food beside him thinking to his self he should eat but soon pushed that though out of his mind. He cursed himself for being in such a predicament, he had one simple job kill T'Challa and he failed. What to do now he thought, he was stuck locked up in this small ass cell with a bed, a sink, and toilet. His only thought in mind...what the fuck has happened? He was now in a cell, power less, crown less, and his T'Challa was still alive. He tossed and turned for the next two hours trying to go back to sleep. Erik had been in the cell for nearly 4 months now. 

Sunlight was a complete no go; he was so feared and untrusted that he was forbidden to go outside. There were no windows which made it more irritating for him, but he knew that wasn't going to happen considering they knew how strong he was along with his training. He was in there so long he began to question would he even fave trail! What seemed like after 3 hours of restlessness his eyelids became heavy as he drifted off into a deep slumber.


	2. What the world sees as a monster, i see as lost hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik may be locked up but all is still not well within one peaceful and of Wakanda. The after effacts of the war is still dying down and the king is still trying to come to realization that mot only only did his cousin try to kill him but his best friend turned on him.

T'Challa stood outside looking around at what was once a peaceful land he called home; but as of the last few months he sees nothing but confusion, hurt, and betrayal in the eyes of the people who live within Wakanda. Not everyone had felt as though he was not fit to be a king but there were some that felt as though he had let them down l. A king is supposed to protect and guide and some people see him as a man who could not do either. Erik had came and dethroned T'Challa in only a matter of a few hours. The silence he maintained was broken by a soft spoken voice "T'Challa, are you feeling alright? I know you are king and it is duty to stand strong but it is my duty to see if my son is alright" The queen spoke softly placing a hand on his shoulder as she stood beside him "Yes mother. Though i still feel as if Wakanda has not fully heald from the war with Killmonger. I look around and see our people living in fear, wondering if Wakanda is safe from another invasion as his. I feel he is in need of therapy with that much anger in his heart mother." The queen looks at him with curious eyes, she knew her son very well and that is why should was scared of where he was going with this. "W-what are you trying to say? T'Challa....what are you suggesting?" he turned to his mother silent.

A few hours later T'challa was sitting on his throne eyes closed rubbing his temples as his mother rages at him in voice he has never heard. Shuri and Okoye stand in the distance. "What has gotten into you?!? You have yet to bring him in front of the council to stand trial for what he has done..to Wakanda to YOU!!" her words were cutting through him like a knife; he knew how much his cousin had put everyone through, the hurt he caused people, the lives he took, the fear he put into people was nothing he had seen before. "Mother....i know what he has done is inexcusable but we must look at what brought into being the monster we know as Erik Killmonger." The serious look of anger crossed her face as she glares at her son "How dare you blame us, you turn on Wakanda??? He came to our home land and nearly killed you and you dare accuse Wakanda of creating such a person of destruction! ....You are my son..i love you T'challa....but i cannot look at you while you turn on us.." With that she leaves not looking back. Shuri looked at him still with mixed emotions in her eyes. Her brother had yet to bring him to trial for what he has done. "Brother, why are you keeping him locked up? He needs to face the council and be sentenced for his crimes" she stated. "N'Jadaka is family. He has been robbed of what is means to the know the meaning of care and love. Man is to be given a second chance and he can get that here. He can be given what was taken from as just a child." 

After a few moments of silence Shuri spoke placing a hand on his shoulder giving him some form of comfort. "Brother, yes it true he has been wronged by what our baba has done but that does give him the right to hurt innocent people. Do not let guilt wash over you. You seen what he can do without the powers of black panther do you think it's possible to trust him now? No!" He looks at her glaring due to her punching him in the arm but he knew it was true; Erik was no threat to be taken lightly. He was strong, intelligent, patient, and full of rage. Erik has not gotten the chance to experience happiness or the joy of what love can do to a heart. He wanted to show Erik what that feeling was like. 

Days had gone by since T'Challa had told his mother about his considering of freeing Erik and giving him a second chance and he could still tell his mother was displeased with that decision. Down in the prison of Wakanda Erik was in his cell doing push ups. He had nothing else to do. Be had no weights, no books, not even a clock letting him know what time it was. The walls were blue with paint chipping from the walls, the titanium door was made out of vibranium so breaking it down wasn't going to happen. After about 8 more pushes he gets up sitting on the bed thinking. Not about Wakanda, not his father, not his cousin but of his mother. He missed her so much; not being able to hug her anymore, see her beautiful smile, or hear her joyous laughter. This world was cruel as fuck he thought; taking his mother from him for no reason. Why her? He hated when he started getting caught up in his emotions again it made him all soft on the inside. He sat thinking of what he would be like had his parents had not died. Maybe he would be better as not just a person but better as a man.


	3. What the world sees as a monster, i see as lost hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T'Challa is faced with difficult decisions that will cause him stress. Regardless of what he does he is facing a possible serious consequence

The sunlight shined brightly over the beautiful land of Wakanda; the trees and grass were healthy green, flowers blossomed wonderfully, and the water are just as smooth and cool as could be. All of this would make a beautiful sight to take in had it not been for the clanging sound of metal hitting against each other. A few of the Dora Milaje were training new recruits. One specifically had ranked pretty high in the training and felt her need to prove that she was strong enough to stand by the king and fight for his honor and the protection of Wakanda. The general Okoye glared at her for a short period of time before challenging this young girl. With both of them on the platform weapons ready the girl charged at the general with great but nothing that impressive. As the girl leaped in the air Okoye swiftly sticks her leg up high delivering a blow to girl's chest sending her flying backwards; before the young girl could recover Okoye was on top of her and had given her two jabs followed by a vicious headbutt; she then presses her weapon rod over the girl's neck watching her slowly lose consciousness. After a few seconds the young dropped her arms passing out as Okoye calmly stood up as she turns to the other young women. "Do not get cocky because you rank exceptionally high; here in Wakanda we live and fight to protect our land, our loved ones, and our king! Her actions are a clear result of what happens when you get inside your head. Training for today is finished." With two thuds of her sphere she broadly announces "Dora Milaje! Dismissed!" with the Wakandan salute the trainees and soldiers clear the area leaving their general alone. 

Okoye was never one to be weak but the hurt was in her heart. Not only did she have to watch T'Challa get thrown off a cliff and for a short period of time serve a monster for a king but she had to deal with the betrayal and death of her once upon a time love. W'Kabi was the one person who would see her at her worst point; she loved him a great deal. When she was not with the king she would be spending time with W'Kabi, taking in the feeling of true love, spending time in the royal garden, having wonderful dinners together, shopping, and the intense love making they would share. But when they say all good things come to an end it never struck her how bad it could hurt. W'Kabi had turned against T'Challa and began serving Erik as the king; when things were more calm throughout the land W'Kabi was brought before the council and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Usually the consequence for treason was death but the king could not bring himself to kill his once bestfriend. The smile soon began to fade as she recalls getting the news that W'Kabi had been found unresponsive in his cell and was rushed to the infirmary where died hours later due to heart failure. Okoye had stood by his side with him during his final hours. When she realized he was gone the weight of the world crashed on her hard. She felt alone for the first time. Okoye always stood strong, fierce, powerful, and gracious but how could she be strong with her heart so heavy with grief. The general felt a hand on her shoulder; turning to see who it was she was greeted by the queen. She bowed respectfully until a hand pulled her to her feet. "Okoye, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to yourself? You have always been an outspoken woman yet you hide your feelings all of a sudden." the queen spoke "Queen mother, i live to protect my home, my family, the honor of-" she was suddenly cut off "You have always been such a powerful Wakandan soldier. But you are also a loved and trusted one to the royal family. You do not have to hide yourself or bare such a hard burden alone." Okoye sighed deeply fighting back the tears "I have no time for emotions. Emotions caused me to lose sight of what is truly important. I appreciate what the family has done for me but emotions are a distraction...no-no matter who they are for." the queen held her hands "But you are human are you not? It is ok to feel weak, hurt, confused and scared. I was the same way when...T'Chaka left us. Lowe and behold bast has made a way for me let bast in your heart. Let me comfort you my friend." Before she knew it she was on the ground crying.

Her heart couldn't take it anymore. The thoughts, the hiding it, bottling it in, the memories of what once was. She had just buried him 3 months ago the hurt was still fresh. Okoye pounded at the ground wanting to have her loved one back; to see him, hold him, kiss him, protect and love him but that chance will never come. W'Kabi was dead and she knew nothing could bring him back. 

From high up in the window T'Challa watch as the general crumbled so hard. He thought of how much hurt she was suffering from and couldn't help but feel so helpless. She protected him with her life and now she was on her knees crying so hard. His mind somehow ventured to Erik who was still locked up deep within prison. He knew Erik was suffering as well . He was just a child when he lost his father. Okoye and Erik had lost someone who meant so much to them. T'Challa was the king and he felt it was up to him to try and relieve him of some of the hurt. He sat at his desk for hours contemplating on what was to be done. Staring at the right on his finger T'Challa knew right then and there was to be done. He was king and his word was final.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying this; i am enjoying writing this. I might make it a series. All positive comments, feedback, and criticisms are welcomed. Lemme know what you think!! :)


	4. What the world sees as a monster, i see as lost hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik finally is put trial but the outcome is not what everyone wanted to hear. There is slight very slight smut.

Okoye makes her way into the dining area where the Queen and Shuri are having breakfast. She sees them with smiles and joy on their faces it puts her at ease. "Princess Shuri, Queen Mother your happiness puts joy in my heart, may i ask what the smiles are for?" Shuri nudges Okoye playfully "You don't have to call me Princess, you may be the general but i consider you family." the begins to speak "We are happy because that monster Erik Killmonger is set to face trail today in just three hours. Justice will be served to that beast." The general's eyes grew at the sound of those words. He had terrorized Wakanda and hurt so many and now he was about to pay for those crimes. "Mother, what kind of punishment will he be dealt?" Shuri asked "With everything he has done, nearly giving away vibranium to the outside world, and killing Zuri...the price will most likely be death" 

The cell was not like other cells. Usually they were cold but this cell was hot. He figured it would stay like since he was in Africa after all. He continued doing his usually two hundred fifty push ups. It kept his mind straight and his body looking good. Once he had done the last one he laid on his bed but he kept feeling strange. He looked down and noticed his dick was throbbing hard; true he hadn't fucked anyone or even jacked off in months so he figured it was time for a long over due release. He unzipped his pants and let his manhood come out. He licked his lips admiring his own shaft; it was at standing at 11 inches also having a rich chocolate brown color with a nice mushroom head and veins in all the places. He gripped it tight using his thumb to smear the precum leaking from the top around his dick. He began stroking his sex nice and slow, working his hand just right from the tip down to the shaft and back up again. The feeling of being touch was turning him on even more and he wasn't sure how long he was going to last. Suddenly the door opens as two Dora walk through. It took them just a quick moment to realize what was taking place. Ayo gave a quick cough getting his attention "Wassup, y'all want some? We can have a quickie..mmm..let y'all taste me-" "We here to take you to trial, we wish to take no part in any relations with scum like you." 

Erik walked down the hall guided by the dora. He couldn't believe after months of being locked up he was finally facing trial. But he was curious as to why it took them so long. He stayed in his thoughts until two doors opened in front of him revealing the council, the general, and the royal family. He immediately locked with T'Challa giving him a stare of such hate. As the council took their seats T'Challa was the first to speak. "N'Jadaka, formally known as Erik Killmonger you stand here facing trial for your horrible crimes against wakanda. You nearly gave away what was ours, attempted to kill me even after you seen i was not dead, and killed Zuri. Not only are these crimes unforgivable but they hold the penalty of death. Is there anything you have to say on your behalf?" Erik just glares at him mouth tight. The leader of the merchant tribe speaks "Answer him! Do you not hear that the king has asked you a question!!"

"He must be to ashamed to speak. He has no words left."

"Creatures like him with no soul have no right to speak..nothing he can say will justify what he has done!" Everyone's harsh judgement echoed through the room but Erik and T'Challa never broke contact. It was like a battle to see who broke but neither would give in. After nearly two minutes of anger in the room T'Challa broke and spoke "now is your chance to let your voice be heard" that was all Erik needed. "Why am i still alive? I told you to let me die, you saw me pull that blade out my chest..that should have been enough to let you know i was done with fighting, with anger, with life. I wanted to be with my daddy. Hmhmhm...it's funny cause ya daddy took mine away from me in life and you kept me from him in death. Like father like son right? I'm not gonna beg you for my life. Damn, i just had a feeling when i woke up in that hospital bed you were gonna sentence me to death." The silence that filled the room was like no other. T'Challa felt guilty inside because he kept Erik alive despite him wanting to die. He just couldn't let his cousin no matter how cruel he was. "To be foreal with you, i say do what the fuck you want to do. I don't need one of these fucking privileged as council members talking shit to me. So wrap this shit up and kill me already." As the king though about what to do or at least say it he kept hearing his mother in his ear along with the council talking angrily to him and amongst each other. He shouts for everyone to be silent; looking Erik in his eye he gives the final verdict. "N'Jadaka....you have committed unspeakable crimes and i will say you are to be forgiven, i will not say that they were in the right and justified but i will say i know what made you into who you are. As for your punishment you are to be found not guilty. You will finish out the week in your cell and to freed on monday. However you will have guards with you at all times unless you are with me. You will receive counseling twice a week until your mind is in a better state of mind....this trial is over." 

With that T'Challa leaves with his siater and mother following behind. Erik on the other hand was actually in total shock. He couldn't believe what he just heard. He was going free and all charges were dropped. Back in cell he just sat on his bed still trying to understand what had just took place only just a few hours ago. He was going free. He was going free was all he could think about. When T'Challa and his family reached his office he feel the anger radiating ofc of his mother. He felt horrible for hurting his mother but it was nothing that could be explained so easily; not through words. "Are you out of your mind!!! You set him free! He tried to kill you!! You freed the man whore nearly destroyed our homeland! What..what has gotten into you boy?!?!?" The rage in her heart was like nothing he had seen before. "He was abandoned mother..robbed of what could have been a healthier life. Have you ever thought about his feelings mother? His ache? His heart?" "That monster has no heart T'Challa....your father would be ashamed to see this" 

"Father is the reason we are in this mess....his negligence to be a man caused a boy to grow up with hate in his heart! This..this is baba's fault!" a loud sound echoed through the room causing everyone to flinch. "Mother.." shuri put a hand over her mouth when she realized the queen had just smacked T'Challa. "How dare you. You disgrace your father's name....you betray us. You may be the king of Wakanda but you are still MY son. If you ever disrespect him again i will kill you myself." "i-i truly apologize mother." with that she leaves taking the dora with her; Shuri gives him one last glance before exiting as well leaving him to think about what he had done. He knew deep down this was the right thing to do no matter how hard it may seem or who may not like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post, been dealing with some thing and I've been sick. I'm still sick but a lot better now. Hope you all like it! Sorry if this chapter seemed rushed. Im open to all positive criticisms.


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